Ways to Solve Conflict

One disagreement that I have recently had was with one of my cousins.  She wanted to give my son a piece of gum, and I told her no he cannot have gum because I don't give him gum.  We got into a small altercation on how I thought I was too good, and I need to let my son be a kid.  As soon as I turned my back, she gave him a piece of gum.  I was very angry with her for doing this because I knew he would just swallow it. 

She thought it was funny, and I yelled at her without even thinking. We both have very different parenting styles, and she does not respect my way of parenting. 

One way that I could have solved this conflict was being direct with her and explaining why I did not want him to have gum, rather than telling her "I don't allow him to have gum".  Maybe if I would have taken this route, she would have respected what I said.  I feel like maybe she thought I was attacking her parenting style because she allows her children to have gum and I don't.

Another way I could have solved this conflict was simply by not yelling.  I believe that when a person starts yelling effective communication is lost.  I could have stated that I was not happy in a regular tone.  I could have said what I needed to say in a respectful tone, in return she may have shown me respect back.

In order to solve conflict one must be able to see both sides.  One must also be able to show respect.  As a part of the 3 R's, if respect is shown then it a better chance that it will be return.

Evaluating my Communication Styles

When I started the self-evaluation of my community skills, I had in mind what my results would be.  I am person who do not mind public speaking to a large group, but do not like speaking in small groups.  The people who I had score me was my cousin and her fiancé.  It tickled me to watch both of them complete the survey, because they were laughing while doing it.  When they received their scores they both were anxious to compare it to my original score.

All three of us knew that I can be bossy when I am talking to others without even trying, so we were all tickled when the scores for my aggression came back (67,63, 62).  I know that I am somewhat aggressive when I talk, and now I see that others can realize this too and this is a trait that I need to work on.  This can affect me negatively if I am communicating with a group of people who do not know this about me.  They may think that I am rude and do not care about them, when that is not true.  I scored in group one for my listening styles profile.  I do care about others and I care how they view themselves.  This can be a positive attribute to my personal and professional life.  It will help me gain the trust of others, if they can see past my verbal aggression.

I was not surprise with my results, and my cousin and her fiancé agreed with my scores.  It was fun to do this assessment to see how I viewed myself and how others view me.  This has made me more aware of my self-efficacy and I can use this to guide my interactions that I will have with others.

Communicating with Others That are Not Like Us

When I communicate with people from different groups and culture I notice that I am more careful with my word choice.  I also, tend to try to look at the person I am communicating with to ensure that I am fully attentive.  I also realize that the tone of my voice is much softer.  I do not know why I do this, but I do it without even realizing it.  I also, tend to talk less if it is the first interaction.  I do this so that I can have a better idea of who they are. I am a big talker and I love communicating with others.  If I am speaking to someone who first language isn't English, I notice that I use my hands a lot.  I am excited to learn more ways to help me become a more effective communicator.

Three strategies that I believe will help others be a more effective communicator are listed below:

1. Pay attention to body language and your tone when communicating with others.  Often times, our body language and tone can present the wrong message if we are not careful.

2. If what you are saying would offend you if someone would say it to you, then don't say it to others.  Implement the Platinum Rule when communicating with others.

3.  Try to be a good listener when communicating with others.  Don't just do all the talking, but rather try to actively listen so that you will be able to respond appropriately.

Observing a tv show with and without sound.

I have a one year old so I decided to record one of his favorite shows.  He really like to watch Harry and His Bucket Full of Dinosaurs.  I watched it first without sound, and I must admit it was rather funny trying to figure out what was going on.  By Harry's facial expression I assumed that he sick.  His little cheeks was red and he was lying in bed.  His dinosaurs seemed like they were trying to comfort him by giving Harry a hug.

I watched it again with sound and was right! Harry was sick, and the dinosaurs was trying to make him feel better!

It was very interesting to watch the show without sound, because I actually had to pay attention to what was going on to try to figure out what was really happening.  If we did this when others were talking to us, then we would become better listeners because we would actually have to pay attention to the person that is trying to communicate with us.

Farewell All

One hope that you have when you think about working with children and families who come from diverse backgrounds (any format and any length)

One goal you would like to set for the early childhood field related to issues of diversity, equity, and social justice (any format and any length)

A brief note of thanks to your colleagues

This has been a fun and exciting course!  One hope that I have for working with children and families from different background is being able to have a better understanding of each of my families diverse backgrounds.  I know that this will be hard but I would like to become familiar with different backgrounds so that I can be more aware of how to teach to a different group of kids!

One goal for the early childhood field, is to have a set of standards that should be incorporated in the schools!  I think that this way teachers who are not familiar with teaching a diverse group of students will have somewhat of an idea of what to teach, although they will have to learn how to teach it.

I would like to thank all my colleagues for all the thoughts, and sharing your stories throughout this course. I wish you all the best!

Happy Learning,

Kayla

Welcoming a Family from Egypt!

The family that just arrived to my child care center is from Egypt.  I have always wanted to visit Egypt, and I am really excited about getting to learn more about my student and her family as well as their culture.  Considering that I know nothing about life in Egypt, nor the way of the people.  I composed a list of five ways that will help me to get to know my student and her family better.

1. I would send a family questionnaire home with the family before the child's first day of school asking about the culture and expectations of the family.
2. I would research school systems in Egypt to become more familiar with the type of schooling this child has already been exposed to.
3. I would include books about several different countries in the classroom including Egypt.
4. I would ask the parents to come in and sit in during a class session so they can become more familiar with the structure of her new school.
5. I would also ask her parents if they have any concerns or questions for me, and how would they recommend I include their child's culture in the classroom.  

I believe by showing the parents that I care about their input about their child's learning, will show that I value them and I would like to include them in their child's learning.  By asking them how to include their culture in the classroom will hopefully show that I do no want them to conform to the "norm" but rather accept and appreciate their family and their differences.  By communicating with the parents and the child about what they like and things they may dislike,  will help promote a caring and trustworthy relationship among us.

Social Profiling

One incident that I remember is when my friend and I were shopping at a boutique (typically on white people shop at).  As soon as we walked through the door, we were greeted by the owner.  As we continued to look around the store, she trailed us as if she was checking the items on the shelf.  She then continued to follow us and asked us several times if we need help looking for anything.  My friend responded to her, that there were other people in the store that may need her help because we are just browsing.  She then left, and sent a sales associate to follow us around the store.  In other words or less, we were social profiled.  Which bothered me greatly, we asked why she was following us, and she said that she was just giving us customer service.  However, we left without causing any problems.

This made me feel like black people cannot afford to shop in boutiques and that because we were browsing she “assumed” that we were trying to steal.  It makes me sad that I cannot go into a store and shop without being socially profiled.

I would ask the other customers in the store how that would make them feel if they were followed around the store.  I would then pull the owner to the side and discuss how I feel like what she did was completely inappropriate in I would point out the fact that she social profiled my friend and I.  I would also tell her that we were nice about the

situation, but if it were someone else they might’ve not been.